Take Things
One Day At A Time
Ashley Stahmer
Introduce yourself! Who are you?
I’m Ashley, a (very) recent graduate from the University of Delaware. While there, I majored in Communications and Political Science. I’m currently looking for job opportunities in the non-profit industry and trying to use my time before working to focus on self-improvement. I have a blog where I share everything from media recommendations to political opinions. You can also find my previous published work there.
What is one thing no one really knows about you?
While I’ve been candid about it with my family for years, most people don’t know that I suffer from Crohn’s Disease, a chronic gastrointestinal disease. I’ve written about my experience with the condition – how I was diagnosed, what treatment plans we’ve tried, and what the future looks like – on my blog, but I live a relatively normal life, spare injections I give myself each week. I’m hoping to use my platform to bring more awareness to not only Crohn’s, but also other invisible illnesses that affect people every day.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Take things one day at a time. It’s simple advice, but learning to live in the present has been a struggle for me. I’m a planner, and I like to have everything laid out ahead of time. Transitions are tough, and graduating from college was no exception. When I was at a crossroads between my time at school and everything that would come after, one of my best friends told me to relax and take it all one day at a time. Focus on the present, and do what you can to make it as productive and beneficial as possible.
What would you say to 16 year old you?
There is a big, beautiful, scary, exciting world out there, and you will get to see it. Take a breath, and enjoy where you’re at. In the words of Robert Holden, “Beware of Destination Addiction – a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.” Stop believing that being with the right person or moving to the right city will suddenly change everything for the better. You are enough, all on your own, and you will move mountains wherever you are, whether it’s Washington D.C. or the suburbs of Jersey.
What message do you think every woman should hear?
The hardest part of most things is showing up. Whether it’s a job interview or a first date, the scariest part is those first few minutes before fight-or-flight kicks in. Sticking around is what matters. It’s not just showing up for yourself, though. Being there for your friends and family when they need you is just as important. Ignore the anxiety or self-doubt that has you second-guessing your ability to be the best person for the situation, and just show up. Most of the time, we all just want someone who’s going to be there.
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