Nineteen and Nashville…That’s the year I was homeless, living in my car, had five dollars left to my name and was riding on empty. The song Round Here by the Counting Crows became my certainty. I was lost, cold and afraid.
That was the year that I pulled up to my first strip club. The year everything would change.
I was lost, and I was found – all at the same time.
I was surviving. Surviving from the past, surviving from the present and deathly afraid of my future.
I had nowhere to go, and I couch surfed for almost a year until I made enough money to get an apartment. I put myself in college even though all I ever wanted to do was be a backup dancer for bands, but because I was told by the people who were supposed to love me that I couldn’t make it and was stupid to have such elaborate dreams, I gave it up.
Instead, at only 19, I was broken.
I felt shattered. It was all I ever knew and surviving was enough. I knew I was meant for greatness. I had no idea how to get there, and I was blindly afraid of everything in front of me.
I started using cocaine to numb the pain of taking my clothes off for strangers. Luckily, I quit the drugs and chose to keep a clear head in the game of stripping so I could hold on to the light at the end of the dark tunnel.
I was slowly moving up in the world, and I was carving a path to my True North without a compass or any help beyond my own intuition.
Gypsy Soul at heart, I lived all over the US. I danced my way through the states, searching for my soul. The only place I could ever find it was in the lyrics of songs and my best friend.
At 21, I landed in Vegas, living in a dorm room with Mikey and sleeping on a pile of clothes in the middle of the room. We were on top of the world. We truly believed we had it all – and we did. We entered a soulmate friendship that ascended beyond this universe and made this world worth living in.
For the first time in my life, someone else understood me and loved me for exactly who I was. It wasn’t spoken; it didn’t need to be. Our friendship was that North Star, and we were inseparable.
Mikey saw my broken angel wings, and he didn’t care. In fact he loved me for it. He adored my tenacity, and he was inspired by me and all my brokenness and my intuition to say screw the pain. He saw my eyes dance in the glimmering lights of what was to come. I found who I was in our friendship.
He died a few short years later at the age of 29. It killed me – literally. That was when after a series of other bad relationships and overcoming my childhood traumas, leaving the strip club scene and building a million dollar business…I was so miserable that I quit my life.
Our friendship was the insurance that everything would be ok. My best friend, my True North, was gone, and I saw no point in the pain of living.
I experienced hundreds of dark nights of the soul, but this was never part of the plan. He was my saving grace or so I thought.
This was the end of the road for me. I don’t know if I can ever find words for that kind of pain. Mike and I were born before the wind and forever entangled gypsy souls.
Two months later, I tried to end my life.
My attempted suicide was my gift. I received my accelerated gifts of ascended healing and clairvoyance. This is when everything changed. I changed. I walked away from my toxic everything, six-figure VP job, relationships, all of it. I jumped, and it was really fucking hard.
You can call it a Divine Storm, but really, my whole life was one big fucking chaotic hurricane. It was a lifetime of me on my knees begging for the pain to lift.
Woo Woo World
I have been spiritual my whole life, and it wasn’t because I read some book or followed some glowing guru. We are all naturally intuitive. It is our built-in Divine Intelligence System. The spiritual journey is LIFE.
The process of Awakening though, that is where the “shifts” occur, and I was hungry. I absorbed everything I could to understand my gifts and integrate them. I had to heal and then help others do the same. There was a pit in my stomach. It is still there driving me to serve, and serve some more.
This is the chapter where I allow myself to be seen. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she talks to angels.
This is where we meet.
I found another piece of myself along every step of the road, especially those places where I stumbled and fell hard. Each time, I got up with scraped knees and a bruised heart, and kept moving forward. I knew there was purpose in my suffering and that I was an important piece of this life puzzle. I knew my life had purpose and Divine Universal Intent.
I now work as an intuitive mentor, healer and inspirational speaker helping people connect to their highest potentials, their Angels and Guides, and define their life purpose through self-empowerment and love.
I have spent a lifetime overcoming trauma, abuse, rape, loss, and deep pain. I have always gotten back up with scraped knees and a bruised heart and kept going. I have stories for days, not one dark night of the soul but hundreds.
Resilience and love are what I am known for.
If there is one piece of advice I can give anyone, it is to never stop moving in the direction of your dreams.
If I can make it, anyone can. I am not special or unique, I am just a girl who would not give the fuck up and committed to rising. I am a girl who fell many times and made all the mistakes.
What I learned was to trust myself. To trust and align with my True North.
I learned to believe in myself so fiercely and that all of my experiences were created for me to align with love and share that inspiration with anyone who would listen.
I believe we are all “gifted” and after hard-learned lessons, I chose to embrace my lessons and serve others.
I am here to hold you and love you.
I have dedicated my life to it.
I see you, and you are the Way, we are all the Way through, and together we will carve new roads and create epic stories that will transcend the legacies of all time.
I love you.
Jessica Valor is an Intuitive Mentor and Healer for the leaders who want to feel supported personally and professionally. She helps women use their intuition in life and in business.