stop comparing yourself

Monique Griffani

Hi! I’m Monique! Wife to Paul and mumma to Gabriella (4) and Lorenzo (9mo) from sunny Brisbane, Australia! In my short years of motherhood, I’ve played many roles. I’ve been the stay at home mum, the working mum, the mum and dad while my husband worked away. No matter where you are in your motherhood journey, your voice deserves to be heard! I started really getting serious with sharing my story after my birth of Lorenzo where I have gained around 10k followers in my little online community.

When you were a little girl how did you dream about being a mother?
All I wanted when I was a little girl was to be a mum. While other kids aspired to be astronauts, dolphin trainers, or even teachers, all I could picture was the big house, loving husband, and beautiful kids running around.

How have your notions of what it means to be a mother changed over your lifetime?
Oh most definitely! And this is something that is always changing for me. At the start of my motherhood journey, I was freshly 18, without any life experience whatsoever and really just winged it. I’ve learned a lot about parenting, what it means and to respite to other views through my 5 years of parenthood.

What has given you the most joy as a mother?
The best thing out of my whole day is seeing my two kids with beaming smiles on their faces as they watch me drive into the garage on an evening after work. Nothing can ever measure to that. It seems so simple, but it’s the best feeling.

In your own words, can you define motherhood?
Life’s greatest mystery. You never know what’s going to be thrown at you next.

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Have you always had confidence in yourself as a mother? Is this something you still struggle with?
Absolutely not and this is something that I still struggle with! No matter what choices you make, someone will always try to undermine your decision. What I have learned along the way is that there is no right or wrong way to parent. And everyone does it differently. It doesn’t make you any less of a mother.

What were some of your biggest struggles or insecurities you’ve had?
I think because I became a mother at such a young age, I’ve always felt as though I am judged. Or that people would assume that I would leave my kids to go and party on a weekend as any other young adult would. I feel sometimes like I’m constantly being watched. And even though I am with my kids 24/7 and couldn’t dream of leaving them with anyone, that people would instantly jump to that conclusion regardless.

Was there ever a moment that you felt like you hit rock bottom?
2 years ago my husband was working the night shift. He worked 12 hour days, 6 days a week. I was at my lowest during this time. I was playing both roles of mum and dad to our daughter Gabriella. The stress overruled my body and I was emotionally exhausted. It was at this time that I broke down and called defeat. I am so fortunate that I have such a supportive husband who listened to my needs, left his position for something with better hours and tended our needs as a family.

What was one of the most defining moments in your motherhood journey?
Becoming a mother was the greatest moment. Looking down at my fresh baby girl, it was incredible and like no other. The bond that we share, and how my heart instantly grew. It’s something that you really can’t describe.

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What’s been the biggest surprise about motherhood?
The judgment! The constant catfighting between mothers, comparing their babies! It’s like a feeding frenzy!

What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned along the way?
To trust my own instincts and not give in to the peer pressure.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to someone who is about to have their first child?
Take the unsolicited advice with a grain of salt. In one ear and out the other. Trust your own instincts.

What message do you think every mother should hear?
Stop comparing yourself.

Are you still learning who you are?
I think as individuals we are constantly learning new things about ourselves. Every single day I am evolving and adapting to my lifestyle.

What is it like being a working mom? What would you change?
I have been both the stay at home and working mum, and I must say that working definitely suits me better. I’m the type of person that needs to be doing something and I am constantly chasing that feeling of accomplishment. I feel as though I am able to cherish and appreciate the time that I do get to spend with my kids without the feeling of a financial burden of staying home.

What do you want your children to know about you?
I want them to know that no matter where they are in their lives, I will always be there. If I have had my time and I have passed on, I will still be there. The brightest star in the sky, that’s where I’ll be. I want them to remember the efforts that I have made to stand up for their freedom and their planet.

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Monique Griffani

Monique Griffani is a wife and mama of two. Her husband Paul and her, along with their two children, Gabriella and Lorenzo live in sunny Brisbane, QLD Australia.

She is a Projects Administrator during business hours and a cook, cleaner, referee, party host, counsellor, and cow all other hours of the day.

She started blogging and using her social media platform as an outlet after being diagnosed with PPD after the birth of her son.

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