Follow Your Gut, It'll Save You A Lot Of Heartaches
My name is Jalynn Schroeder! I am a Mom to two beautiful littles, a wife of 6 years, and a business owner!
I wish I could go back in time and speak with my 16 year-old self. I would tell her to have confidence and be okay with who she is. That everything gets better. I would tell her she is so much better than how people treat her. I would tell her to follow her gut and to not make decisions based on anything else besides what she knows is right. I would tell her she is beautiful and is going to do big things one day.
It’s better done, than perfect. I’m a perfectionist and being given this advice changed so much for me. It’s still so hard for me to not control everything, but I’m learning and growing every day!
Remember to love yourself. It’s such a simple message but I know without a doubt that it is a massive, massive issue. With social media, the pressure to be the perfect Mom while helping to provide for our family all while being “skinny” is REAL. I see women hating themselves every day and it breaks my heart. I struggle with this too. It’s so easy to feel like we aren’t doing enough even though in reality, we are doing TOO much!
Doubters come with the territory. People have always doubted me, and it doesn’t feel great. On the flip side it sure gives me the fire and motivation to do what they are doubting me for. When I first started one of my businesses, I got a lot of doubt from multiple people. I understood the doubt, but it fueled me to prove them wrong and prove to myself that I could be successful when I put the work in.
Finding confidence in yourself isn’t always easy. I wish I could say it was, but even I have struggled with confidence up until the last few years. I’m just now 32 and finally feeling confident in who I am, where I’m going, and my purpose!
Introverts can live outside of the box too. If you don’t know me, most people would be surprised to hear that I’m a massive introvert. I could never be social again and be totally fine. Because of my bold outfits and purple hair, everyone automatically assumes I’m an extrovert which couldn’t be further from the truth!
Stand up for what you believe in. I recently left the church I grew up in and I can say this is the biggest trial I have ever been through. Although I wouldn’t say I have overcome it fully, I have come so far in the last 4 months. I am so confident in myself and what I believe. My businesses and growth from that have given me confidence to really stand up for what I believe and to take myself out of the toxic religious situation I was in.
Always go with your gut. I mentioned this before, but to ALWAYS go with my gut. My whole life up until now, I made choices based on my religion and what I knew my parents wanted from me. I never wanted to disappoint anyone, so my decisions were based on making everyone else happy instead of making myself happy. Looking back, if I would have gone with my gut I would have saved myself a lot of heartache and I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in right now.
Don’t lose sight of who you truly are. From a very young age in middle school when we went around and shared what we wanted to do when we grew up, I was the only one that didn’t say “be a Mom”. I said “I want to have my own business”. I’ve always loved to do my own thing from selling candy and having a backyard carnival to selling clothing to opening up my own businesses. I’ve had an entrepreneur heart my whole life!
Find your tribe. I work with an awesome group of ladies that push me to my limits. We cheer each other on, we share our struggles, we help each other, and we share ideas! It’s amazing! On top of that, I recently invested in a mentor. There is so much value in having someone looking in from the outside and to really hold you accountable! I highly recommend it!
Never stop trying to get better. I do not start or end my day without some sort of personal development. Podcasts, audible, youtube videos… it doesn’t matter what it is or where it comes from. In order to get my head in a good place daily and to grow, I can’t miss a day! Even if it’s just a short 10 minutes!
There is no such thing as work-life balance. I was recently teaching at a business conference and got asked how I manage work-life balance. My response every time is: there is NO SUCH THING as balance. That idea of balance is what kills us. There will be months where our kids are home on summer break and those months our family will be our priority. When kids are in school, work will be our priority. Every week and every month is going to look different, therefore our focus will be different on a weekly/monthly basis. I was killing myself trying to find balance. As soon as I let go of the idea that my life had to be balanced, I was able to give 100% to what I was doing in the moment. If I’m working, I’m giving my 100% to that. If I’m with my family, I give 100% to that.
Dream bigger. If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough! Starting something new and jumping into the unknown is always scary. It’s a very vulnerable feeling to invest in yourself and your dream so being scared is a great thing! It means you are going in the right direction!
Be authentic in a world full of “perfection” I have shared the hardest parts of my journey on social media for the world to see. Through opening up and being extremely vulnerable I’ve helped so many, created the best relationships and expanded my circle! I think being authentic in a world of “perfect social media” is so important.
Jalynn is a Mom to two beautiful littles, a wife of 6 years, and the owner of The Red Closet Shop