My name is Gina Dobmeier. I am a stay at home/unschooling mama of two girls and been married to the man of my dreams for almost 13yrs now. Our life may seem like a picture perfect ideal situation, but we will be the first to tell you it has been an absolute roller coaster. We’ve endured two losses, our baby girl Annabelle who was stillborn at 6 months and our baby boy Ethan, who was a late term miscarriage at 4 1/2 months. Our marriage and family has survived financial crisis, several career changes, depression, loss of community, abuse, family trauma and addictions. My husband and I have this saying we say to each other “We Are One BadAss Team” and that’s the truth. We couldn’t do anything we have faced without each other that’s our heart and hope we can give to others. That they too can find healing and hope as individuals and as a family. My husband and I provide videos and we will be launching our podcast soon to talk about all the things that have helped us in our lives. My friends call me the Pain Gangster and so that’s what I have taken on. I am here for it all. I hold nothing back and I am a big believer that if we can face our pain then we can survive anything and live out this gift of life we have been given. I am the founder of “I Am Crowned Project” which I started to help encourage others who have experienced loss to know that they are not alone, as well as giving tangible tools through videos and blogs to help people unlock their healing journey. Along with that, I sell crown necklaces as a remembrance that each and every loss is crowned in glory. A portion of each sale goes toward gifting a necklace to a woman who has lost a child.
The answers are there.
You just have to be willing to dig for them.
I thought I wanted to be a professional back up dancer and so I went to LA for two weeks and within those short two weeks, I discovered that that path wasn’t for me. I thought in order to “be someone” college was the only way. So I spent my first two college years trying to do something that wasn’t for me either. I was in the counselor’s office more than I was in classes. I couldn’t decide on anything. So I dropped out! I knew 💯 that I always wanted to be a wife, a mama and to help people. So that became my life mission. I went all in. I devoted as much material as I could revolving around those topics and worked full time at my church for 13 years. Looking back now I can say I spent my early 20’s learning a lot of what NOT to do. LOL. I am an expert at not necessarily what to do, but to take what you’ve been through and learn from it all.
Don’t hide behind a mask.
I don’t have a perfect family. I grew up being a master at wearing a mask trying to pretend I did have a perfect upbringing and life. So now I devote my life to facing my pain and sharing along the way. I can only imagine how many other people wear masks to cover their pain and I know how painful that really is.
Life is a process.
You don’t have to have life figured out. It is a process about discovering. Allow yourself to be yourself and discover. Listen to the things that speak to your heart and keep going in that direction. Don’t be afraid to try new things, taste new foods, and never stop learning about yourself. Failure is not failure if you can say you learned from it. So keep trying and keep living.
Who you are is a gift.
You were made and designed to be YOU. We all have a good and bad side, we will always be a work in progress, but that doesn’t mean we have to change who we are. Learn how to take what you already have and see the good in it. You are Worth It and Your Life is Worth Living.
Embrace your confidence.
I think I have always had an inner confidence and along the way, I got distracted just like anyone else. It’s easy to do, but even through the distraction I learned and I took that as a way for me to build an even stronger confidence about myself. Age is a beautiful thing. When you embrace it your confidence grows. If you shame your age you will hinder your confidence.
We can heal and move forward.
The loss of my babies was an event in my life that changed everything for me. It forced me to face every dark area of my life. The darkness opened me up to the light and opened me up to live more. It helped me realize that time is precious and what matters to me is to love and live better. It has helped me to not take life too seriously and to be freer in my thinking and doing. It’s done the opposite of what others told me it would do. I believe the only reason why is because I have learned to embrace facing my adversity and pain and trust that something good could come from it. It’s the only way we can heal and move forward from the things we are faced with.
Understand there is no balance to life so instead of chasing balance I have learned to go with the flow of life. I look at life in stages, embracing every season as it comes. No more fighting against it or striving for perfection. And lastly, making time for the things that matter to me.
Learning to say no is okay.
I am intentional and mindful of who I surround myself around. If something doesn’t make me feel good I don’t do it. Learning that saying “no” is okay and saying “yes” to the things that matter and question “will this add to my life or take away?” has truly been a game-changer for me.
We are all works in progress.
I come across very bold and secure, but I have some deep-rooted insecurities surrounding my self-esteem and struggle with depression. I have to work on this every single day.
Gina Dobmeier is a wife, mom, Pain Gangster, and the founder of “I Am Crowned Project” which she started to help encourage others who have experienced loss to know that they are not alone. She is a big believer that if we can face our pain then we can survive anything and live out this gift of life we have been given.