I would love to share my story to all the women out there trying to find themselves. I am a woman that has faced many years holding herself back not understanding the simple notion of perspective. The simple, yet complex thought that I could be someone worthy, talented, beautiful, smart, and able to touch my wildest dreams despite what anyone else may think. My journey truly is my journey. I’ve lived a life where I let my clinical depression and spiraling thoughts, or negativity dictate who I was and what I was capable of. In the end I only realized I had been suffering which really had been nothing but a choice. I felt as though my circumstances of having nothing would define me forever, and that was the way things would be for me. Sometimes that is just the way it is for certain people. Those were my thoughts.
I was working a job that took a piece of me every single day that made me feel less and less humane. I was blaming the world for my unhappiness, not myself. My focus was on all the pity in my life. Pain is inevitable, things happen to beautiful people all the time. I went out with my friends one night and was in the wrong place at the wrong time and almost barely escaped with my life because a guy decided to shoot the bar we randomly decided to go to. I still remember my arm burning from the bullet grazing my arm and looking completely alarmed at the fact that I was alive when there was a hole in my jacket. Others near me didn’t make it out alive that night, but I did. Unfortunately, the area that I had lived in violence and shootings had made me anxious but began to seem normal. Trust me when I say bad things happen to good people and pain is something that we as humans cannot control.
I began getting acquainted with pain early as a kid when I came home to finding out my best friend had passed at the early age of thirteen. I was taught things like how to have a low self-esteem without realizing it. Although I had this big heart I wanted so much more out of life. I got tired of suffering. I wanted help. I knew someone dear to me talking to a therapist making tremendous progress and I could see the light surrounding her. I remember thinking to myself, how do I get that for me? I knew I needed help.
I decided to make the leap to talk to a therapist and from that moment on it changed my life. I have always been an avid reader and writer. I tell people that the two books that really sparked the change for me were by Don Miguel Ruiz: The Mastery of Love, and the Four Agreements. For the first time in my life I had a different perspective. It kind of felt like I had been living under a rock the entire time and finally felt the first step of freedom. If there is anything I have learned through the many things that I have been through in my life that I could stress to anyone on their journey it is perspective. When I think about my thoughts and the way that I have conditioned myself for better days and happiness, I like to think of my mind as a muscle. You must work it like one. When people go to the gym they start out with low stamina and weak. They must build their strength and stamina, especially when going isn’t the highest priority. That is the same concept that I use with the mind. I replace the negative with positive. When I want to go back to what I am used to because most people like comfortability. That is when I work the hardest to see the positive in any situation. There are lessons to be learned in almost any situation that you find yourself in. I like to think that there is a solution for every problem rather big or small.
When I began putting my energy toward what was more positive verses looking through the glass where I had always seen negativity these simple practices began to change my life. I stopped getting ready to do something, instead I began feeling the fear and jumping before I was ready and to my surprise it made me stronger. I began shooting for the stars instead of selling myself short thinking that things were not good enough for me because of whatever reason that I had made up in my head that was not true or valid. Those positive exercises to my brain became second nature and thinking negative now became harder. I changed my perspective. I live my life, things are still happening to me that are in and out of my control. The difference is how I am perceiving them.
I now take the time for self-care. Things that I did not set as a priority before are now non-negotiable. Some days we need to take the time to do nothing. Some days we need to take the time to go inward and check on ourselves and re-evaluate some things. Self-care is not always going to the movies or getting your hair done. Self-care could be simply understanding never to ask yourself why when self-evaluating, but to only ask yourself what. It’s a trick I do when I self-evaluate to keep myself always moving forward never looking in the past but to always stay positive and progressing. When you ask yourself questions with what you receive a different dialogue in your head that causes a better reaction. What am I feeling today?
My life depended on being better. I not only wanted change more than my next breath, I needed it. Which meant I was more than ready to do all the work that was needed to create the change that I desired. That is one reason I decided to do my Monday inspiration videos. It helped me see the positive in everything throughout my circumstances every week, giving everyone feedback and insight on how to cope and move forward. My blog has the many pieces of me where I love to inspire, use my imagination, and give insight. My story isn’t a fairytale, it isn’t finished, I have a ways to go. However, it is my story. It tells the trials and tribulations of some of the things that I have overcame. I look to let any woman reading my story know never to let anyone including themselves, family, circumstances, or anyone get in their way. Shoot for the stars and hit the ground running. Above all, sometimes you’re not going to see the ground beneath you. Don’t let that stop you from taking the first step. I am just a regular girl like you, ready and able to do extraordinary things.
Ariona Lynn is a Writer, storyteller, playwright, and Mompreneur on the rise sharing inspiration whenever she can. She lives to impact the world through her creative vision, one project at a time. She wants every woman on her journey to know fear is an emotion just like any other. There are endless possibilities behind it, don’t let it hinder you.