Introduce yourself! Who are you?
Hey there! I’m Alyson Premo (@alys_wickedsober), a mom, a Certified Professional Recovery Coach/Certified Life Coach (@sobermomcoach) aka Sobriety and Mindset Coach (still working on the mindset part since I’m currently enrolled in my NLP Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EFT Practitioner, and Life and Success Coach Certification all from Yes Supply. I’m also the Founder of Sober Mom Tribe (@sobermomtribe). A community that provides hope, knowledge, and support in a safe, judgment-free zone for mothers who are sober curious, sober, or struggling to remain sober. I hit my rock bottom on November 14, 2016, when I was stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction. I went to detox for 5 days and haven’t had a drop of alcohol since. My struggle led to my purpose, which is helping mothers free themselves from alcohol being the center of their life and giving that time and mental energy wasted back to their kids.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Take it one day at a time. In recovery, this is a popular or even a cliche slogan, but it has helped me get from one day to the next without picking up a glass of wine. Your fears and anxiety will decrease if you just look at the 24 hours ahead of you instead of a year from now or 10 years from now.
What would you say to 16 year old you?
Do what you want for YOU. Don’t try and please your parents, friends, siblings, etc. This life is yours and you don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone.
What message do you think every woman should hear?
Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s ok. But if you speak the truth, then it doesn’t matter. Be true to yourself and the cause you’re supporting.
What do you love most about yourself?
My strength. I’ve been through hell and back. Towards the end of my alcoholism, I drank morning until night. I physically and mentally couldn’t stop. I never thought I could dig myself out of that hole. But with detox, a good support network, and changing my mindset I did the impossible. I’m back to living life again and helping tens of thousands of women around the world to get or stay sober.
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned along the way?
To stop being a people-pleaser. I would overthink EVERYTHING. I was constantly questioning whether who was going to stop being my friend or unfollow or unfriend me because of my truth or my opinion. But the thing is not everyone is going to like you, and if you try to please everyone then you’re just going to go crazy and lose who you really are in the process. People are going to like you and hate you, but realize that has nothing to do with you.
When and how did you decide that you wanted to quit?
I HAD TO. There was no more choice anymore. I woke up on November 14, 2016, and called my mother and asked her for help. I couldn’t do this to myself or my son who needed me to be the mother he deserved. I didn’t want to die and that was the path I was taking.
How did you know when you needed help?
I couldn’t even function anymore. I was a very high functioning alcoholic, who even after coming out on Facebook to my ex-colleagues a year into my sobriety had no idea that I had even struggled. But towards the end, I couldn’t even handle the basic tasks of life anymore. All I thought about was the alcohol taking away my massive bouts of anxiety. In the end, I was only taking naps. Falling asleep at 10 pm, then waking up at 2 am with so much anxiety that I couldn’t fall asleep. The only way I knew how was to reach for the bottle of wine that became a permanent fixture on my nightstand. And when the alcohol wasn’t even touching my anxiety anymore I knew that I needed to get help or I’d go crazy.
If there are others who feel the same as you, what would you like to tell them?
You don’t need alcohol to get through life. I know we’ve been conditioned by our family, friends, and society that drinking is the norm but it’s not and it shouldn’t be. When it comes down to it alcohol is a toxic substance. It will kill you if you let it. That’s why it’s so important to seek help before it gets to a point of no return. It can be done, but you have to reach out and ask for help. I promise you there is someone out there that can relate to your story and who is willing to help you get through this rough patch in your life. That’s all it is. A rough patch that you can overcome with resources, tools, and support.
How long were you addicted?
I’m not sure of the timeframe. I called myself a normal drinker, but I know that wasn’t the case. So I guess I’ve been truly addicted since I started college in 2002. I want to be clear though that I DID NOT drink for the 9 months I was pregnant with my son in 2010.
How long have you been sober?
I’ll be 3 years sober on November 15, 2019.
Describe addiction in three words.
Living in hell.
Describe how the addiction started or when you knew it was getting out of control.
I drank “normally” in college. Binge drank after college, and then slowly but surely getting to the addicted phase after both my grandparents passed away 9 months apart from one another. After my grandfather passed on January 11. 2014 that is when my decline began. I tried to get sober two other times before this last time but it never stuck. I always thought I could moderate. Each time may have started with one glass of wine or one drink at night, but then slowly increased to a bottle of wine a night, then two, then drinking morning until night.
What was the first thing you did after realizing you needed to get sober?
I called my mother and she found me a bed in a detox facility in Connecticut.
Was there any one piece of wisdom or element of treatment that helped you stay the course?
I was in detox for 5 days and don’t remember too much of it. But what I do remember is a man walking up to me after I said I needed to leave and couldn’t be there anymore. He gave me his copy of The Big Book and I still have it to this day. My detox bracelet is in the pages to remind me of a place I never want to go again and how far I’ve come.
What’s the hardest part about recovery?
Being in a culture that revolves around alcohol is the hardest part. Everywhere you turn there’s memes, shirts, billboards, TV shows, and stores that sell alcohol. In the beginning, you feel like you can’t escape it, but after some time you learn to accept it and it doesn’t phase you that much anymore.
What’s the best part of being sober?
Being the mother that my son deserves. Being able to experience PURE JOY with him. Of course, he gets under my skin some days, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m showing him a life of strength, resilience, and one that I don’t need to use alcohol to cope with. He knows I’m sober and he knows what it stands for. One night he told me I was the strongest mommy he knew because I faced my fears. Even just typing that right now I have tears in my eyes. If at first, you can’t do it for yourself, please just do it for your kids. They need you.
Describe sobriety in three words.
Experiencing it all.
Alyson is a mother, a Certified Professional Recovery & Life Coach, and Founder of Sober Mom Tribe. Sober Mom Tribe is a community that provides hope, knowledge, and support in a safe, judgment-free zone for mothers who are sober curious, sober, or struggling to remain sober.